"The male dominant agenda is so fragile that any competitor is felt as a deadly foe.”
– Terence McKenna
Do you ever examine archetypes and see which ones are represented in yourself, in others around you, and in the world in general? McKenna's quote speaks about the bully archetype. which is pervasive in our society in many different incarnations.
It starts in the family of origin. In most families, if there has not been deep healing and shadow work, there is the triangle of: bully, victim, and rescuer. Bully is the alcoholic father, victim might be the verbally abused mother, rescuer might be the child trying to stop the fighting. Bully is the father who runs the house as a patriarch, with everyone else "towing the line". Bully is the father who has expectations that his son succeed in a certain sport, academic performance, or aggressiveness. Bully could be the mother who demands her daughter dress and speak a certain way. Bully in the home gives way to bully on the outside.
Bully is the kid in school who starts fights. Bully is the boss who uses threats rather than cooperation. Bully is the cop who uses physical force where none is needed. Bully is the teacher who yells, reprimands, punishes. Bully is the doctor who performs an episiotomy on a woman who asked for a natural childbirth.
The bully is someone who uses real or imagined forms of power to harm and/or intimidate those who are perceived as weaker in some regard.
But what is key to realize is that underneath the bully exterior, is frailty and fear. Fear masquerades as toughness and aggression. The strongest people are able to bend and yield, be humble, and be willing to listen and change. The bully cannot. They become more aggressive the weaker they are.
REMEMBER most bully's didn't have a voice in their homes, as children. They didn't feel they had any power. They weren't empowered equally with their parents.
It is important to look at ways you have encountered the bully archetype in your life, and how can you heal from that. The most important is examining ways that you may have unknowingly embodied the victim archetype.
An encounter with the bully archetype can show you the ways you doubt yourself. The ways you allow the victim archetype to manifest in you. We've all experienced it. But what we do with the energy is what transforms our world. It's necessary to transform our inner world before we can expect to see the outer world change.
Have you been bullied online, attacked for your opinions? What have you done in those situations? Have you allowed the victim archetype to manifest and you quietly slip away without standing up for yourself? In recent experiences I've had, I simply called the bullies out on their shadow. Brought clarity to why they are so nasty, which they are usually never aware of.
But I didn't allow the victim archetype to surface in me. YOU have that inner truth as well. Recognize it, and use it, the next time you are finding yourself in the midst of a bully.