LESSONS IN BEING DETACHED FROM OUTCOMES
If you are a lightworker, a healer, a shaman, or live in the world of the healing arts, you probably already know that the lesson of detaching from outcomes can be profoundly challenging. When you work with others who you care deeply about, you inevitably find it difficult to watch them head out into rough seas. You feel the same when you see family members or friends make a decision that you know will cause them pain.
When your love and compassion from deep within is what guides you to even want to work with others, you can’t help but truly wish that they would look at the ocean conditions ahead, and then do the necessary preparation to chart a course towards the sun in calm seas. But when they choose to head into a hurricane, what do you do?
What you can’t do is be attached to the outcome. They may have a dangerous and rough journey. They may lose loved ones. They may sink their entire ship. And in the worst of all cases, they may lose themselves. Completely. And Forever.
Not too long ago I had this experience with someone who was very near and dear to my heart in many ways. Someone who I have gone back lifetimes with and who has made similar choices in many past incarnations. It is an old and familiar pain watching this person head out into the eye of the storm. And as old as it is, it is no less difficult to watch.
I understand the lesson of detaching from outcomes but I found myself having to just sit with the awareness of knowing what was coming for this person, and then witnessing it as it rolled on through her life. It was a process of allowing. I wasn’t going to pretend it was different. I wasn’t going to engage in wishful thinking for a better outcome. I had to simply accept what is.
The purpose of being a teacher, a shaman, a healer, a friend, a parent, a spouse, a caring human… with vision to share….is not to influence or create an outcome. It is not to convince. Convincing takes so much energy, drains you, and sucks the life right out of you. ESPECIALLY when it doesn’t have the intended effect on your loved ones or friends, and their ship sails out into a cyclone even after you’ve expended enormous energy to try and redirect it.
The Grandmother master plant has taught me… that convincing is for lawyers and salespeople. Yes of course it is. But for spiritual teaching it is about being the clear vessel – the hollow bone. That is what is required. A simply clear and clean vessel through which the messages of spirit can be shared and taught. No attachment, no expectation.
What happens after that – is not of a teacher’s domain. We are to be detached from any and all outcomes of what a person will do with the messages and the teachings.
Whenever spirit gifts me with vision to let someone know a storm is coming, or a tidal wave, or a hurricane, or pirates…. I bow in deep reverence and gratitude for such a magnificent gift. And it creates a beautiful sigh of relief when the person takes the warnings from spirit to heart and creates “conscious change”. They consciously, deliberately and intently, make changes in their lives that move them closer to spirit and heart, and away from mind and ego. Charting a more peaceful path, thus not experiencing life smacking them down. Hard.
Sometimes the person chooses to avoid the messages and stays the course they are on. In fact, sometimes they may run faster towards ego/mind, and begin to create distractions, excuses, beliefs that support the avoidance of uncovering of the real source of their suffering.
They begin to surround themselves with people who are outside of the knowing….people who themselves are in fear and will confirm that “all is well” on the ocean. Those whose own fears are disguised with elaborate veils of illusion. Who pretend there is sun and calm waters when in fact there is a storm on the horizon.
Each and every time it is hard to watch it happen. It’s never easy to watch someone go down. But in truth, it is going to happen whether it is hard for you to witness or not. Accepting that we can’t save anyone except ourselves, and that our job and responsibility is not to rescue, convince or persuade, is life-changing. Difficult but life-changing. It frees you up to flow through life unburdened by the heavy weight of someone else’s redemption from ego. It also frees you from the sadness of feeling as if you somehow failed.
Jesus taught me that. In His death He did not feel like a failure. He simply taught. He shared vision. He showed people how they could save themselves from ego. He showed people how they could heal themselves. He never called himself a savior. Others saw that in Him, but He knew His role was to guide, to teach, to lead people home to the light. He IS the light. He is in its highest form — a clear vessel for God’s light and love. The shaman of all shaman. And so it is with all of the other great sages and saints from Buddha to Krishna and Maharaj-ji.
He did what He came here to do. What humanity did with those healing messages and visions are choices of free will. He did not die feeling like He could have done more to “save” everyone. Because quite obviously there were too many who chose not to look at the light. Too many who chose not to be saved from their egos and look within their hearts with love. And today, those many still exist.
My deep connection to this profound lesson was the most pivotal moment on my path. It was the moment my own ego stopped assigning false responsibility to my purpose here on earth, and the moment when I understood that my purpose is to be that vessel and share and teach. And then – to let go….