Sometimes when you're in a dark place you think you've been buried, but you've actually been planted... If you've ever experienced your "Dark night of the soul", you understand what I am saying. I have lived through mine, and returned to share what that transformation may be like.
EVERY PERSON who is or ever was, on an authentic spiritual path WILL experience the sheer darkness of the dark night. Including Jesus himself. You will know it when you are in it. It may be short, it may be very long, and one thing it will be, is RAW. And painful. And for many, way BEYOND what depression may look like. For most in the dark night, depression may seem like a welcome emotion. The dark night contains almost a nothingness. When we've identified ourselves as a particular ego for our whole lives, seeing that die is excruciating.
One of the major purposes of the dark night of the soul is to formulate an unshakable resolve in us, so that even if everything goes wrong in our lives and even if we can't see or understand anything Goddess is doing, we will still choose to rely UNWAVERINGLY on Her.
The dark night comes as the culmination to a long journey of seeking the spiritual path. It comes long after you've already had many challenges and bumps in the road and thought you had already "done the work". But the ego is a trickster. It hides and waits until you feel you've done well on your path. It allows you the belief that your faith in Goddess is unwavering. But the ego still remains.
The dark night leaves us with nothing but only our faith – a faith that says, whether I live or die, I choose to trust in You, not in my ego, my own thoughts and my emotions.
Goddess wants to produce in us a trust that can never be shaken. She is drawing us away from a life of senses and feelings and forcing us to turn to Her in raw faith.
It is the ultimate, ever powerful act of humility.
"Not my will, but yours."
No matter what we desire, regardless of what our mind is saying and regardless of what we are feeling, the dark night brings us to full ego death.
St. John of the Cross speaks of the 'secret stair' by which one descends in the dark night to meet the Beloved — the way the soul journeys into union with God. But prior to that union of ecstatic rapture with the Beloved comes the Dark Night of the Soul, that painful period when one feels imprisoned in The Abyss ...
Pema Chodron says this: "In the process of discovering our true nature, the journey goes down, not up, as if the mountain pointed toward the earth instead of the sky. We move down and down and down, and with us move millions of others, our companions in awakening …Right there we discover a love that will not die."
Joseph Campbell also offers us incredible words of guidance through the dark night: "The dark night of the soul comes just before revelation. When everything is lost, and all seems darkness, then comes the new life and all that is needed."
If you are going through this now, have in the past, or may in the future, know that full surrender to Goddess is the most difficult journey you will ever make. After a true ego death, a new transformation takes place. Ego will return - but to its rightful place - in control of no part of your life. And your metamorphosis will be stunning as the authentic you is revealed to yourself. 💜 Liana 🐬