Do you know why they are really cutting down the rain forest? Because it is wet and dark and tangled and feminine. ~ Amazon Medicine Woman, as told to Alberto Villoldo
The Mother Wound is something experienced by most humans alive today on this earth, and the result is a total disconnect from the Mother – your mother, which results in a disconnect from Mother Earth. The Earth herself is a living library of all of the wisdom we need for our evolution into living in a paradise on earth. But as a species we are wholeheartedly disconnected from the wisdom schools that are waiting to be unlocked. Looking around at the violence, repressed sexuality of women, abuse, rape, aggression, destruction of the earth herself, and lack of self-love, it is all traceable back to the Mother Wound.
If you don't connect to the love of the Mother you don't understand your worthiness of being loved.
Men and women all over our planet suffer deeply from the effects of the Mother Wound because the love of the Mother is supposed to be modeled for us by our own human mothers. But it is rare where a Mother is able to completely and unconditionally love her child, seeing only his or her perfection, without ANY expectations, conditions or demands. Of course most mothers deeply love their children, but unconditional love of the Mother is about seeing only that child’s light and perfection, and giving complete and total emotional support, guidance, nurturing, care and then preparing that child to walk in full empowerment. No good grades are needed, no awards, no athletic successes, no specific physical attributes, no needing to follow in the parents’ footsteps, no need to practice a certain religion, agree with a political viewpoint, carry on cultural expectations, or have a sexual orientation preferred by the parent. Those are conditions. Unconditional love means just that, it is not conditioned on anything.
The healed mother sees the perfection in herself and in her child, just as the Goddess sees our perfection.
But the imbalanced patriarchal oppressive culture that exists in our world has resulted in a large percentage of mothers today who are oppressed on social, economic, emotional, sexual, psychological and spiritual levels, and as a result we are fully immersed in a deeply painful story. But we’ve being going about healing it all wrong. The enemy is not a specific gender, a specific religion, a specific political party. The enemy lives within us. The enemy of peace is the lack of self-love. Not ego self-adoration, not praising your looks in the mirror, not seeking validation from love on the outside – real, raw, unabashed, deep, passionate, compassionate LOVE OF SELF – the self that IS the Divine. The ego has a lot not to love about itself. But the soul? Pure perfection “in the image and likeness of God”.
There is massive acknowledgement that yin and yang are radically imbalanced and that the patriarchal oppression is sweeping waves of destruction upon humanity, animals, and Earth herself. But it is time to understand that violent men who start and fight wars, who abuse, harm, or hurt women, who run companies that are racing towards profit and power, men who believe the only power they have is in physically overpowering others, men who view women as objects, men who abuse animals, men who enslave other men, men who are addicted to pornography – are not the "cause" of suffering on earth. They are the result.
Unhealed Mother Wound results in the destruction, rape and pillaging of Earth that we are now experiencing. We need to get out of “witness consciousness”, because we are not just witnesses to the pain, we are all both the cause and the effect.
It is vital to our survival as a species that we stop seeing our world as “us versus them”. We must realize we are one collective beating heart in connection with Mother Earth, and if one is a victim, we are all the victim, and if one is the bully, we are all the bully, and if one is the rescuer, we are all the rescuer. Looking at our connectedness and our unity with our Mother is the way out of this destructive path we are on as a humanity.
There is no one to blame here.
In childhood you are often taught that there is always someone to blame. Schools indoctrinate us with this poisonous thinking. Parents perpetuate it. Someone is always the person to pin all the blame on. So when things go wrong in our society, we look for someone to blame and we always find someone. It just depends whose side you are on. But once you pick a target you feel good. You feel like there is someone “out there” to blame and you can put all of your energy into “fighting” against that person, group, or culture. Once you feel like you have picked a “side” you feel safe with other people on your “side”. But in truth there are no sides. We are all one, even though most humans have not been willing to accept that. If we accept that, we must heal our wounds and drop our pain stories.
Humanity is not at a critical mass yet where we are collectively ready to drop our pain stories and heal. But many individuals on a path of ascension, are in fact, taking their first steps. My LifePath as a shaman is based on leading people to their heart through the path of unconditional love of self. It is heavy to watch people choose self-hate and self-destruction, even when they are equipped with the tools to choose self-love. But there is so much hope, joy, bliss and peace in participating in the radical healing of core wounds.
To heal our collective wounds we have to understand our individual wounds. When we look at violence perpetrated by men, we must understand that these are unloved men. Men who are loved unconditionally by their mothers do not become misogynistic. Men who know the love of the Mother, love women deeply on a spiritually conscious level. Men who were unconditionally loved by their own mothers revere and are in awe of women. If you've ever seen a man make a misogynistic statement to a woman online (I'm sure you've seen hundreds if not thousands), you can see immediately the transparency of the wounding – Mother Wound. That is why a man would hide behind a computer screen and voice his anger at women, while very often at “home” pretending to be a perfectly good upstanding citizen. But it’s not just men. We must look at women too.
I happened to see a story on my newsfeed about Justin Bieber deleting his Instagram account because he got so much hate directed towards his new girlfriend. What was so tragic about this was that these are relatively young women spewing this hate. Young – full life ahead of them – beautiful children of this earth – spewing hate towards another beautiful young woman just trying to live life and figure things out at only 17. We talk so much in spiritual circles about children being the future, new generations being better than the last, young people being so much more aware. Really? I don’t see the pain being healed when I look at the thousands of young girls criticizing another young girls looks, weight, personality, and putting tons of snake emojis to denote their hate. That is pain. A lot of it. The transparency is that there are millions of girls who loathe and hate themselves when they look in the mirror. Girls who have painful relationships with their mothers. Girls who are not unconditionally loved.
Girls who do not love themselves, become women who do not love themselves, who raise children that do not love themselves.
When you are unconditionally loved you love yourself through and through. And when you love yourself through and through, you don’t have even the slightest inclination to spew hate. You never experience envy, jealousy, or bitterness. You don't self-destruct. Self-love transcends you out of that dark and lonely pit. When you have received unconditional love, you honor yourself as you have been honored, you surround yourself with other loving beings, and you make no room in your life for hateful, destructive, self-imploding people.
The Mother Wound exists because mothers do not love themselves unconditionally, and you cannot give to someone else what you do not have yourself.
It is a self-perpetuating cycle because just as the wounded girls become wounded mothers, the wounded boys grow up to become absentee fathers, avoidant fathers, abusive fathers, or emotionally unavailable fathers. This contributes to huge overwhelming responsibilities put onto mothers, who often become shells of their true selves. Mothers who are stressed, afraid of the future, sexually repressed, bitter, and angry at men in general. And the cycle continues on.
Many mothers who have sons rely on their son as a "male" figurehead in the home. Unhealthy boundaries, and reliance for "manly" tasks put on boys creates more damage. Mothers who do not have healthy conscious relationships with men often blur the boundaries with their sons and create damaging patterns of emotional incest wherein the mother inappropriately leans on her son for emotional support. The mother often puts the son in the place of the inadequate or unavailable father, while the daughter is often put in the place of competitor with the mother, and often witnesses mom desperately seeking to appease the father, do as the father says, or seeking “saving” from boyfriends, trying to quickly attach to a man for validation. That unhealthy pattern gets ingrained in the mind of both the daughter and the son.
The daughter can never quite reach her own true self for fear of dishonoring the failures, missed opportunities and resentments of her mother. Often, by emotional distancing or harsh criticisms of the daughter, the Mother ensures that the daughter will never reach her highest potential in life. The mother sees in the daughter all of her unrealized dreams, and cannot get past her own severing pain to free the daughter from the cage of lineage oppression. She wants the daughter close to home, living her life very close to the dysfunctional family patterning. Whenever you hear a woman say “wow Mary looks fat”, or “wow, Sue is really thick-bottomed” or “Gabby needs to wear more makeup to cover those pimples”, you know for sure that woman has a critical mother. A mother who criticized her and told her she didn’t look good enough, she needed to lose weight, she needed to look prettier for men, she needed to cover up her imperfections. For every woman who spews hate on the appearance of another, behind her words is an angry and bitter mother who never healed her own wounds.
Behind every woman who is envious of a successful woman, who rejoices at the downfall of another woman, or who seethes with jealousy over a woman who is more beautiful, more wealthy, more empowered, is the bitter old crone who never realized her own dreams. This bitter crone is seen even in teenage girls as I mentioned with the hate against that young girl on Instagram, shadows projecting self-hate as a primal cry from their own empty hearts, for, you guessed it, the love of THE MOTHER.
And behind every misogynist, violent man, angry man, bully man, “unable to commit” man, is a child who never experienced the unconditional love of his mother, combined with a tenuous relationship with a bully father, an absent father, or a weak-willed father controlled by the mother. The result is men who feel unworthy, and continuously fail to fill their empty hearts with some kind of feeling, emotion, and connection to, you guessed it, THE MOTHER. So what can we do when there’s no one to blame, and when we are ALL suffering?
We turn to the Mother of course.
In order to get out of this self-perpetuating cycle we must turn to our primal Mother, our Earth Mother, who through her medicine can heal our core wounding. Shamanism can guide us home. The same shamanism that Jesus taught in his reverence and love for the Mother as shared through the teachings of Mary and Mary Magdalene, is the shamanism we can use today. The healings, transcendent experiences, and unconditional love of His shamanic path leads us today to the reality that the Mother IS our home. She holds our wisdom. Everything we need to understand about ourselves and our world is contained in the living libraries of Mother Earth.
But we cannot connect to her wisdom if we are not connected to her.
If we view our lives on our Earth as being something to quickly escape we miss all opportunities to heal. If we live and work without meaningful connection to the medicine of the Earth, we will return to the same place with the same wounding, to karmically repeat the same excruciating pain until we heal the most primal of all wounds.
Connecting with Mother Earth is the key to living beyond our shadow world, and the key to healing Mother Wound. The ancient mystery schools embraced by shamanism carry the wisdom that is held for us within the womb of the Mother herself. Because of Mother Wound and our total disconnect from the Mother Earth, humanity is experiencing a fully disconnected first chakra, at both the individual and collective level. We are spiritually disconnected from the security and power of the Mother herself, and as a result we seek material goods for our security. We see the gross imbalance between obsessive consumerism to the point where people need to build room sized closets to house our clothes and shoes, while others have barely a meal to eat. That is the epitome of disconnect from the Mother. When humans need to store "stuff" in every nook and cranny of a house, in off-site storage facilities, and in second, third and fourth homes, a wounded first chakra is ruling the ego.
We move from material security to selfish focus taking precedence over community, family, and world connection.
The further out we go from our connection to the Earth herself, the more we view the Divine Feminine Mother as an enemy. We fear the deep, dark, mysterious wisdom held in the inner womb. Women learn to hate their own wombs and the wombs of all women. We butcher our bodies with unnecessary radical hysterectomies, “preemptive” removal of perfectly healthy breasts, remove all traces of hair and natural scent from our bodies, stuff ourselves full of lab made silicone to appeal to the disconnected masculine, we reject our own deep sensuality, and pluck, pull, pinch, tighten, whiten, stretch, suck out, curse our menstrual cycles, hide our wildness, and starve and plaster over any real remnant of Divine Goddess beauty.
It’s time to come back to the Mother.
She offers us profound healing, a lifeline out of misery, a medicine so full of love that we can’t help but fall blissfully in love with our own and each other's souls when we connect with Her. It is a path now activated for all who are inclined to learn from the Mystery Schools, a path for the brave, a path for those ready to be LOVED and BE love. Both women and men, this is your clarion call.