Simple. But not always easy.
True healing involves the ability to go to the places of our deepest woundings, be with the pain, and then allow the pain to move through our body and mind. Feeling the emotions fully and not holding on to them.
Once we feel the emotions we can use various processes to release the pain along with any energetic patterning in our Luminous Energy Field. Energy is powerful, but because you can't "see" it, it is easy to doubt its existence and hold on our lives. But the invisible thief of happiness is capable of mass destruction to us as individuals and collectively. If we don't realize it's there, we can never heal it.
There is a tendency in the world of "new age" healing, to only handle the pain we are experiencing right now, without going back to fully heal the wound from its place of origin. This type of thinking avoids the reality that the pain will reappear as something else. After years of repeated band-aid applications, the pain returns in a much worse form, that is usually more harmful than it was the first time.
The healing process can be a difficult one to navigate and it is important to understand the possible obstacles along the way so you don't fall prey to the ego trap. When you embark on a healing process, it can be common to make progress until you hit a wall. The wall usually appears when it comes time to make difficult decisions about venturing out beyond the comfort zone. The wall is inevitable whenever you are unable to have total trust and faith that Goddess will show you the way and that you are completely loved by the Divine.
When your core vibration is "I do not deserve total joy and unconditional love", when deep down you really do not KNOW that you deserve joy and unconditional love, and that you are in fact actually already loved, it can be an uphill battle to break away from the things in your life that were formed from that place of self-doubt.
The way the ego works is profoundly tricky. I have often heard things like "but I just want to know what the future holds", or "but if I leave this job that I hate and am stifled in, what will I do?" Or "I'm so unhappy in my marriage but I may be even more unhappy alone" or "I'm in love with someone other than my spouse but he doesn't love me back. So I will just stay with my husband". These are ego (read: fear) based intrusive thoughts that yoke you back into illusory safety. A place of total distrust in the benevolence of God/Goddess.
The ego puts out a fierce game to keep you stuck exactly where you are. And soon, tumors appear. A tumor can be infidelity in a marriage, alcohol, constant "busy-ness", over-volunteering, angry activism, numbing out with television.... the ego is a brilliant genius in its creative ways to maintain homeostasis.
The ego is insanely relentless and will convince anyone at any time that status quo must be maintained. So regardless of the tumors showing up in an unconscious relationship, or an unconscious job, the ego pulls out all the stops to win the fight to keep you stuck. When that happens, you boomerang from being in the middle of powerful healing, to stuck. Again. But now it's even harder. Because now the ego convinces you that healing is bad. It dredges up all the fear and panic it can muster to lock you back down into the trap.
Everyone knows deep down when they are trapped. The reason you seek healing is in fact because you have noticed signs and symptoms of a deeper problem. Often you may have a number of very serious signs. But if you are not cautious, you can fall into the ego rebound, and your pain will be redirected towards others through projection. For women with deep mother wounds, their target will often be an empowered and happy woman. For men with a mother wound, they will often project onto their wife or girlfriend, for men with a father wound it will be a strong empowered successful male that they will project on (ie, blame for their misfortune or misery).
However, the law of cause and effect is unchangeable. The longer the signs are ignored and projected onto others, the more cancerous the tumor grows. Until it becomes terminal. I highly recommend Anita Moorjani's book "Dying to be Me". A profound example of why unconditional love of the self is THE goal. The reason this book is such a profound treasure is because it deals with literal cancer/tumors. When I talk about affairs and addictions, and unfulfilling jobs being "tumors", deep wounding also manifests as literal tumors that the body creates in response to un-examined self-loathing.
I have personally witnessed people in the very difficult process of ego boomerang mentioned above, where cancer became a true and literal manifestation of their pain story. Anita talks a lot about this in her book, which is why I continually recommend it. This can happen for many reasons, but it is always a process of the ego regaining control, reminding you that "you are not worthy". In one situation a man became drawn in to a person/ "teacher" (well, she considers herself to be a hybrid alien, but that's a topic for another day) who teaches the importance of ego, and who believes she was selected by a galactic council to be "more special" and "more beautiful" than the rest of us. Tragically, I am not kidding. But it is important to understand that the ego will shut off all attempts to connect with your self-love, even if it means clinging to irrational, unstable, erratic thinking.
Ultimately there are no tools in the universe that will make someone want to heal. If a person wants to keep their pain and self-hate, you cannot save them from themselves. In true healing are NO saviors or rescuers. No one has the ability or power to heal you - but you. The only mark of a true teacher or teaching is the incessant guidance for you to continue going further within... looking for the love that is already within you. Nothing on the outside can "fix" the tumor. No matter how skilled the surgeon, healing is an inside job.
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IF THE SELF. It is the ONLY truth to healing.