Gloria Jao

Prior to finding Liana Shanti during the COVID lockdown, I never looked at the effects of growing up with very strict Chinese parents had on me along with many of the cultural beliefs that were considered normal and loving, but were not. Couple that with my parents’ tumultuous divorces with each other, while I was shipped off to another country at a young age, I grew up harboring worry, fear, anger, shame, judgement and resentment.

I fought hard to negate the fact that my mother was clinically diagnosed as a narcissistic psychopath. When my doctor ordered me to stop all contact with her as soon as I became pregnant for fear of losing my baby after many miscarriages for 2 years. After all, my culture ingrained me with the idea that a mother can do no wrong even if she did come after you with a meat cleaver.

But, this is not a story about blame. This is about illustrating the impact of Liana Shanti’s programs on me in 2 short years to undo what was a lifetime of damage and cultural brainwashing. The years of brainwashing and programming that lead to the constant self-sabotage despite the best opportunities given to me. The years of constant chaos I attracted and created to derail me from what could’ve been an even more enormous success, but would’ve cost me my soul.

I asked Jesus for help after my miracle child was born after being told I would never be able to be a mother by the world’s best medical schools. I was repeating my parents’ parenting patterns that I grew up with. I desperately wanted change.

Since college, I was always searching for answers and money was not spared – books, gurus, religions, spiritual retreats, fengshui, life-coaches, psychologists, doctors, acupuncturists, psychics, gypsies, monks, Billionaires, fortunetellers, “The Secret”, 2- time Nobel Physics Prize winner/professor, 2-time Nobel Chemistry Prize winner/professor. No one was able to give me anything concrete to work with. The only thing I came close to was taking comfort in knowing that everything we can’t explain, God has the answer as told to me by Dr. Charles Townes, discoverer of the laser/maser.

Every time someone told me that I should not use my head to love, but to love with my heart. I look at them with baffled eyes trying to make sense of what that means. I genuinely did not understand what love was. I also couldn’t explain to people why I didn’t understand. It’s like trying to describe snow and the feeling of numbed out coldness to a person who has only experienced tropical heat. I felt like a dog chasing its own tail until one day I stumbled upon Liana’s work and programs.

Afterall, it can be very confusing when love was explained and expressed to you as “I hit you, because I love you. I ridiculed you, so I can save you from being embarrassed by strangers. I stopped you from eating so you wouldn’t be fat and no one would want to marry you. I tell you that you’re stupid because you are not top of your class and keep making mistakes, because otherwise you won’t be able to get into a good college and find a good husband. I sent you away because I love you and you should be grateful to have such a great opportunity to study abroad at 7. Children are meant to serve parents. You should be grateful how blessed you are, and you need to obey me. Your paternal grandfather never acknowledged you because you’re not a boy, and you brought disgrace to your father.” I wholeheartedly accept everything and thought myself to be so fortunate compared to those white kids whose parents didn’t care at all.

I supported the idea that no matter how much your parents abused you, you honor your parents because my parents suffered because of me, and I, too, deserved to suffer and experience martyrdom. Sadly, my culture embraces and extolls the actions of love through pain as an indicator for how good parents loved their children.

As a child, expressing emotions was met with immediate shutdown and ridicule and using your brain to solve and handle all things in life was looked upon as the smart and scientific way of handling things. Ego and the brain took over as my heart closed up to feelings. No wonder I grew up to embrace Biology, and when that got boring, Chemistry was where the excitement was with all the lab experiences.

Then, I found Thermodynamics and Quantum Mechanics where energy is neither created or destroyed, 3D becomes 12D as time is an illusion and anything is possible. (By the way, this is everything that Liana teaches. She just puts it in layman terms that make it easier for us to absorb and look within for answers. If by her teaching us the same concept that we have come to see as the laws of nature is deemed as falsehood and brainwashing, then we all need to stop studying Chemistry and Physics.)

The rest would have been history except Jesus had way more in store for me than to be a lab rat studying the next big thing in petrochemical. Jesus took me on a wild path filled with ups and downs, like abortions, cheating on partners, lying, manipulating and abandoning, with the downs being a result of that self-induced sabotage that would create chaos in my life so those closest to me would get hurt and abandon me. I hurt the people closest to me with the non-intention of hurting because, in my world, those actions were shown and explained to me as love.

As a result of Liana’s unconditional love and guidance, I have come to take accountability that while my parents did what they did, it is my responsibility to make the changes necessary to ensure the buck stops here. This is not a feat for the mind. Your mind is great for execution, but not for healing the hurt you have endured and pain inflicted on you by what seemingly should be labeled as vindictive but was euphemized as loving.

To take accountability means to forgive yourself for the things you have done and shame you have endured along with the unpleasant experiences in your life. It also means letting go of victim mentality understanding that you hold the keys to your life, not anyone else – not even Jesus or Liana. You can be shown the way, but you have to do the work. Liana’s program and community allows for all of this.

Thanks to Liana, I am breaking the patterns of inability to self-love and disbelief that I am not worthy of love. I have released the belief and deep programming shown to me by my parents, unconsciously and repeatedly, that the more you I loved you, the more I hurt you. Most importantly, her programs and her modeled behavior has shown me what is true unconditional love and living with impeccable heart as Jesus has shown us.

Today, I am happy to say that I have a great relationship with my ex-husband, a loving relationship with my child, and I am free of all autoimmune disease as my body was reflecting my internal mess I allowed to happen with no firm boundaries and exhausting myself to no end to please other people. Liana’s work in the emotional, spiritual, physical and financial fields are unrivaled.

Like any good scientist, I look for evidence and proofs. Liana has proven to me in her programs and in her own lifeproofs that she is the real deal. She has shown me the true Jesus, and her programs have taught me to open my heart up and trust. I am very grateful for Liana Shanti, and I am a student of hers for life.